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| Photo credit: My husband |
Kathy King
The Gift of What?
“Listen. People start to heal the moment they feel heard.”
Cheryl Richards
What? A common phrase.
It is a word that signals to listen, to pause, and let the other person be heard.
I beg your pardon, excuse me, I’m sorry, what did you say?
These are all words related to active listening in a meaningful way.
To listen is sometimes all a person needs.
To be heard, to be acknowledged, when they feel no one will listen to what they have to say.
To listen is to take the attention from self to another.
To be all ears and share in their struggles can also open your mind.
We all need to listen these days because it seems the yelling persists.
The talking over, the dismissal of ideas and feelings we just can’t continue this course of events.
So take a moment when someone says what, you could be the person that causes another soul to feel they are significant in a world that often makes others feel small.
What? Two of my sons say it all the time. I will say it was annoying to hear that phrase constantly. I thought they were not listening to what I had to say. Well, after I asked why they say what all the time they both shared with me that they have military grade tinnitus. All of the years of Army training had impacted their hearing. They meant no disrespect, they honestly could not hear me. That gave me pause after their explanation. The act of listening without judgment was a lesson that needed to be learned. So much of our world is geared toward judgment. You see someone who looks frazzled and you think they don’t take care of themselves. What if something truly tragic happened in their life? We have no way to know. Listening is not exactly portrayed very well in the media. Shows where folks yell over each other rather than thoughtfully listening and asking questions when they disagree. When we decide to actively listen, particularly to those we disagree with, we repeat, “I hear you saying” is an excellent place to start. What happens when we start this practice? People feel a little bump of goodness to their self esteem when they feel heard. Also, try not to interrupt. Let them finish their thought. This will help you to understand the speaker and the speaker to feel understood. You may be asking yourself, “Why would I do this? People are self absorbed these days!” Yes, some are. I would wager a lot are suffering on the inside. Change has to start in small steps. One person at a time. I leave you dear readers with this funny story. When my twins were little I bought some fiber chocolate bars. The boys were going through a growth spurt, they were about 10 years old. So basically they were eating machines. If it was edible. It was fair game. I brought the fiber bars home and put them in the pantry. After that, the kids were briefed about said fiber bars. The twins in their haze of hunger chose not to hear what mom had to say. My husband and I went out on a date, the twins were watched by their teenage siblings. Generally speaking after a night out when you are entertaining feral eaters one needs to assess the carnage that was eaten. I open the pantry and GASP! There were about 20 fiber bars gone! I called the kids in, asked who had eaten 20 fiber bars and it was the twins. The conversation went something like this, “Did you not hear me when I said these were FIBER bars?!” The twins both looked at me and said, “No mom, I did not hear you.” Needless to say much weeping, wailing and toilet punishment went on for about 24 hours. The boys definitely learned a lesson that day. I encourage us all to both embrace the word what and listen when someone says what. We could start a “What?” revolution!
Source:mindtools.com
My books are on Amazon!
The Quacktastic Adventures of Ellie and Lord Barks a Lot
The Case of the Missing Moo-Cow Bell
The Case of the Missing Bumbly Wumbly Bee
The Case of the Missing Wellies
The Case of the Missing Honk Honk
The Case of the Missing Ornaments
Clean it Up! Wash it Up!
Coming soon:
Appalachian Allegory
Buy me a coffee… pretty please… actually it would be a proper cuppa in my case. Thank you for reading!
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A good one.
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