The Gift of Regretting Tenderly

Each day is a new day... to reflect tenderly. Photo credit: My husband

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Regretting Tenderly

“How to hold regret tenderly: I wish that I would have done that differently, and at the time, I couldn’t”

Syanna Wand

Regrets, we all have them. 

Things we shouldn’t have said. 

Actions we have taken, things we have believed. 

Actions that have caused us dread. 

One of the wonderful things about life is that we can grow. 

We can learn from our past, our regrets, our sorrows, and plant new growth. 

All it takes is a willing spirit and a tender heart. 

A willingness to say, “I was wrong.”

Repent, say your prayers, trust in God’s grace. 

The willingness of spirit will cause you to embrace. 

Embrace the love, embrace the forgiveness, and the source of your regrets.  

Trust in the process, God knows best. 

Change that regret from a feeling of dread and hold it more tenderly. 

As the writer says, find a way to hold on to regret tenderly. 

Tell those who need to hear it, you wish that you had more tools at the time. 

Now you are older and wiser, and your heart is more kind.

Embrace the spirit to learn, to understand, and to have empathy. 

You will see life through a new looking glass. 

A glass that is full of sensibility. 

Do you ever sit in bed at night counting sheep and thinking of your regrets? I am sure that we all do. You wish that you could have said something differently. You could have handled a situation differently. You were in a bad mood that day so you were a bit snappy. I am convinced when our mood is out of place our glasses take on a different shade. The glass that speak, the glasses that think, the glasses that hear. The glasses that act. If we reflect on choices when we were younger we wear those glasses of naivety. It is a vicious cycle, is it not? Reflection and regret are necessary parts of life. They help us to be a better version of ourselves. If you are religious those moments allow you to lean on God’s discernment and grace for future circumstances. The funny thing about us humans? Well, we are a fickle bunch, are we not? Social media adds to that echo chamber of fickle. It is quite easy to find yourself in a space where the overarching theme is bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, malady, etc.. You name it, it is there. I believe that this little chamber just stirs more grit and dust into your cup of regret. When I was a little one, I loved to water paint. I had those little palettes that you could paint your masterpiece with ease. If you wanted to change the color you just dipped the brush in water. The water became a very cloudy and ugly gray and brown mixture. My brother would try to pass it off as chocolate milk (I am not kidding) and on one occasion I drank it. Well, needless to say it was awful and I spit it out and promptly told my mom. If you take those regrets they are much like those finger paints. You think about them over and over, the water becomes more and more dirty. When you have reached the end of your rope of anger.. Well, you take a drink. You think this drink will absolve you of your part in the circumstance. It will salve that regret. When you pick up the cup to drink, guess what. It tastes awful. That is why it is so important to practice self reflection. Forgiveness of both yourself and others. Give yourself and others some grace. Don’t let that water get muddy. Try your best to keep it clean. Those regrets are like the mischievous big brother. Once you keep dipping your brush in he will swoop in to try to get you to take a drink. Pour out the dirty water, clean your brush, clean your cup and move on. It will make all the difference in the world. In the words of David the Psalmist: Selah (Pause and think calmy on the subject.)

My books are on Amazon!

The Quacktastic Adventures of Ellie and Lord Barks a Lot

The Case of the Missing Moo-Cow Bell

The Case of the Missing Bumbly Wumbly Bee

The Case of the Missing Wellies

The Case of the Missing Honk Honk

The Case of the Missing Ornaments

Clean it Up! Wash it Up!

Coming soon!

Appalachian Allegory: A Southern Novel

Buy me a coffee… pretty please… actually it would be a proper cuppa in my case. Thank you for reading! 

Patreon:

Positive Pensées

Paypal:  familyking8@gmail.com

The Gift of a New Year

We are peering through the window, the new year is upon us. Hopefully this next year will be a chance to learn and grow. 

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.”

Edith Lovejoy Pierce 

The new year is upon us. 

The last year has passed us by.

Some of this year has been wonderful.

Some of this year has been a will to stay alive. 

We toiled and troubled and experienced this thing called life. 

We prayed, we cried, we had times where we couldn’t believe our eyes. 

There were times when we couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

There were times when we just smiled. 

Life continued to soldier on, even when our will was tried. 

Take the opportunity of this next year, make a purpose and a plan. 

Try to pick a goal that you can obtain. 

Pick that goal, try to make it, and if you don’t that is okay. 

The point is you tried to make it, to make your life a better place. 

Give yourself grace as this year ends. 

Find your place of thankfulness, make that your purpose at this year’s end. 

Most of all dear readers, give yourself some grace. 

You survived this year! 

That is something that is truly great!

To all of you dear readers, I just want to thank you for taking the time to read my little musings. It has been absolutely wonderful. My mind is always running, creating, singing, talking, wanting to do more… so I thank you. Some folks make resolutions, others do not. Personally, a new year should be a time to focus on being a better person and seeing those around us. In the last few days I have been at the hospital with a loved one. As we sat in that room for over 30 hours, I couldn’t help but see the suffering that was all around. We never know what our fellow humans are going through. We usually see through our lens. While self care is important. It is also a great service to others to try and see their struggle, their thorn in the flesh to bear. In that room full of folks, each person had a story. That story could be of loss and pain. That story could be of joy and a little pain. Each story was theirs. It doesn’t take much to say a little prayer for them. As I watched a woman come into the emergency room frantically trying to find her husband who had been taken to the hospital by ambulance… I could see the absolute fear in her eyes. She kept telling the staff to please take her to her husband. He was confused without her due to his illness. It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch. The staff was very kind and compassionate with her. That was refreshing to see. Oftentimes we get caught up in our situations and do not see the situations of others. Let us all this next year try to look through the lens of empathy. My son recently came to me and asked me to define empathy for him. I said it was the ability to share the feelings of another. I admit, there are times I struggle with this concept. It is simple to define yet hard to do, is it not? There are countless writings on the “loss of humanity” that seems to permeate our culture. A little empathy in our culture would probably go a long, long way. Look through someone else’s lens. In looking through that lens perhaps we can find our common humanity together. Happy New Year dear cherished readers. May this next year give you grace. May this next year shine with goodness and faith. May the prayers be bountiful and the joy be abounding. May the love ooze from all that is around you. May you find joy in the midst of sorrow. May you look forward to the dawn of tomorrow. May you look and see the face of God. In the trees, in the mountains, in the face of a child. May your words be full of goodness and measured truthfulness. May your life be blessed. Pass that blessing to others. Give and receive. Accept those gifts graciously. Give to those in need. Find your peace in the smallest of things. Find your cornerstone of faith. Walk forward into this new year with confidence and finesse. Again, thank you for reading, so very much. 

 

My books are on Amazon!

The Quacktastic Adventures of Ellie and Lord Barks a Lot

The Case of the Missing Moo-Cow Bell

The Case of the Missing Bumbly Wumbly Bee

The Case of the Missing Wellies

The Case of the Missing Honk Honk

The Case of the Missing Ornaments

Clean it Up! Wash it Up!

Coming soon!

Appalachian Allegory: A Southern Novel

Buy me a coffee… pretty please… actually it would be a proper cuppa in my case. Thank you for reading! 

Patreon:

Positive Pensées

Empty Chairs

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

“Always remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” 

Winnie the Pooh

There is an empty chair at the table this year. 

In some cases more than one. 

As we sit and reminisce of times gone by. 

You can’t help but look at that empty spot. 

You miss them, their voice, their general presence every day. 

You think, “What are they doing? Are they okay?”

You pray, you call, you message and you wait. 

You want to see their precious face. 

Why is that chair empty you may ask?

Well that chair is empty because someone is doing freedom’s task.

They are serving, working, and giving of their time. 

So that we can enjoy a fine meal in times that are quite sublime.

Sublime you say? I don’t know about that. 

But if you take a minute and really think of those who are supporting freedom’s task.

They are giving of their time, their talents of free will.

Could you do it if you were called?

I am sure only a few will.

Remember those families with the empty chair. 

Remember that this is a chair of someone of whom they have great care. 

They have little to recourse but to pray.

Their prayers ring out each and every day. 

That empty chair sits at the table as a reminder to you and me.

That there are those who think outside of themselves for the cause of liberty.

Whether that time be on a massive boat, the sandbox, or the trees. 

Remember those who are without family.

Thanksgiving in itself is a time to pause and reflect. 

Reflect on those things of which we are blessed. 

So please in all of your turkey, dressing, and various sundry things. 

Think of that empty chair that sits at the table. 

Bring others to mind. 

This will elevate your will to be kind. 

To be thankful. 

To be full of gratitude. 

That is what the empty chair would want. 

Remember the empty chair that can’t enjoy the day. 

Remember the family, they too have a hollow place. 

They know in their hearts that their loved one is doing the right thing. 

It’s hard. It is a weighty feeling, there are at times no words to convey. 

Just what that empty chair means. 

Today after going to the store for what seemed like the four millionth time… I checked my attitude. Rather than complain I prayed. I felt an overwhelming urge to write this. We are missing some loved ones terribly this year. This is for you brave ones who sacrifice. To all of those mamas who are having their first holiday without their babies. My prayers are with you. The very first time our son was in the sandbox I missed him terribly. I knew what he was doing, I knew the cause, I knew that he would go without reserve. My husband and I were well aware that this comes with the territory of deployments. It doesn’t make it any less hard. Prayer is a must. Absolute must. There is nothing worse than being a mama bear who cannot do anything but pray for your baby that is seven thousand miles away. You don’t know exactly where they are located or what they are doing. But if you could… you would be there at a moment’s notice. To those who have lost their loved one. I cannot imagine your pain. I pray that you will be comforted on this day and every day. This year we find ourselves with another kid that is across the pond. We will miss our loved ones terribly. Very terribly. But we know that this again would be a possibility. We pray. We Wait. We anticipate. We stay still. We listen. We ask for God’s grace. We sing. We cry. We know that in time. They will be home again and that chair will be back to where it should reside. God Bless those who serve. God Bless those who sacrifice. 

My books are on Amazon!

The Quacktastic Adventures of Ellie and Lord Barks a Lot

The Case of the Missing Moo-Cow Bell

The Case of the Missing Bumbly Wumbly Bee

The Case of the Missing Wellies

The Case of the Missing Honk Honk

The Case of the Missing Ornaments

Clean it Up! Wash it Up!

Coming soon!  

Appalachian Allegory: A Southern Novel