The Gift of Leaving a Gift to Your Future Self

I like to look at this photo as a gift. A nice walk in NY on a beautiful fall day. 

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Leaving a Gift to your Future Self

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one!”

Brad Paisley

What is a future gift for yourself?

What could it be?

It does not have to be anything monumental, perhaps a small thought or quote for just you to see.

There may be days when you need the gift, particularly when times are hard. 

The present could be a fond memory to give you the little bit of temerity to keep on going when the day seems bleak. 

Cultivate a gift for your future self. 

Make it part of the recipe of your life. 

When it is time to open the gift, it will be right there for you to help you cope with life.

My husband has said to me many times over the years, “Did you leave a gift for your future self?” The first few times he said it I honestly was confused at what he was saying.  I asked him what that meant to him.  He explained that in life we get tired, we get bored, we get angry, we just have those days where we literally feel the phrase, “I got nothing.” That is the time you should pull out that gift to your future self.  For my husband, it would be organization. He is quite possibly the most organized person on the planet. If I do not know where something is located, he does.  His penchant for organization is both annoying and endearing. When he is weary and feeling down he has a “bug out bag” that has all his clothes cleaned and pressed, his toiletries ready precisely where they need to go and his shoes and socks ready to receive his feet. This concept made me ponder what could be gifts that we could leave for our future self when we just are exhausted, annoyed, angry, or any range of emotions where we need to take a step back?  Obviously your gift does not have to be organization.  Your gift could be a little basket with your favorite tea, a book, and some chocolate.  Your gift could be various quotes stashed all over where you live to remind you that you can make it through this. Your gift to your future self could be that prayer or scripture that gives your spirit a little boost. When we invest in ourselves particularly when you are low, this activity fills you back up so that in turn, you can give to others. I have a friend who constantly struggles with negativity. He constantly deals with trusting others to be good humans, so much so that he is unwilling to entertain new friends or even open up to family members who love him very much.  Recently he discovered the concept of leaving a gift for his future self.  For him, he starts his day with scripture, daily affirmations and positive thoughts through music. While he still struggles with his distrust of others, his attitude has markedly changed from where his emotions were 6 months ago.  For him, he had to give himself a few moments of gifts for his future self daily.  Find your future self gift, wrap it up and put it in a safe place for when you truly need restoration and respite.  I leave you with a quote from the Dalai Lama “If you feel burnout setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.” 

Source:Good Housekeeping 

My books are on Amazon!

The Quacktastic Adventures of Ellie and Lord Barks a Lot

Clean it Up!  Wash it Up!

Coming Soon:

Appalachian Allegory

The Case of the Missing Honk Honk

The Case of the Missing Ornaments

The Gift of What?

Photo credit: My husband

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of What?

“Listen.  People start to heal the moment they feel heard.”

Cheryl Richards

What?  A common phrase. 

It is a word that signals to listen, to pause, and let the other person be heard.

I beg your pardon, excuse me, I’m sorry, what did you say?

These are all words related to active listening in a meaningful way.

To listen is sometimes all a person needs. 

To be heard, to be acknowledged, when they feel no one will listen to what they have to say.

To listen is to take the attention from self to another. 

To be all ears and share in their struggles can also open your mind. 

We all need to listen these days because it seems the yelling persists.

The talking over, the dismissal of ideas and feelings we just can’t continue this course of events.

So take a moment when someone says what, you could be the person that causes another soul to feel they are significant in a world that often makes others feel small.

What? Two of my sons say it all the time.  I will say it was annoying to hear that phrase constantly.  I thought they were not listening to what I had to say.  Well, after I asked why they say what all the time they both shared with me that they have military grade tinnitus.  All of the years of Army training had impacted their hearing.  They meant no disrespect, they honestly could not hear me.  That gave me pause after their explanation.  The act of listening without judgment was a lesson that needed to be learned.  So much of our world is geared toward judgment.  You see someone who looks frazzled and you think they don’t take care of themselves.  What if something truly tragic happened in their life?  We have no way to know.  Listening is not exactly portrayed very well in the media.  Shows where folks yell over each other rather than thoughtfully listening and asking questions when they disagree.  When we decide to actively listen, particularly to those we disagree with, we repeat, “I hear you saying” is an excellent place to start.  What happens when we start this practice?  People feel a little bump of goodness to their self esteem when they feel heard.  Also, try not to interrupt.  Let them finish their thought. This will help you to understand the speaker and the speaker to feel understood.  You may be asking yourself, “Why would I do this?  People are self absorbed these days!”  Yes, some are.  I would wager a lot are suffering on the inside.  Change has to start in small steps. One person at a time. I leave you dear readers with this funny story.  When my twins were little I bought some fiber chocolate bars.  The boys were going through a growth spurt, they were about 10 years old.  So basically they were eating machines.  If it was edible.  It was fair game.  I brought the fiber bars home and put them in the pantry.  After that, the kids were briefed about said fiber bars.  The twins in their haze of hunger chose not to hear what mom had to say.  My husband and I went out on a date, the twins were watched by their teenage siblings.  Generally speaking after a night out when you are entertaining feral eaters one needs to assess the carnage that was eaten.  I open the pantry and GASP!  There were about 20 fiber bars gone!  I called the kids in, asked who had eaten 20 fiber bars and it was the twins.  The conversation went something like this, “Did you not hear me when I said these were FIBER bars?!” The twins both looked at me and said, “No mom, I did not hear you.”  Needless to say much weeping, wailing and toilet punishment went on for about 24 hours.  The boys definitely learned a lesson that day.  I encourage us all to both embrace the word what and listen when someone says what.  We could start a “What?” revolution!  

Source:mindtools.com 

My books are on Amazon!

The Quacktastic Adventures of Ellie and Lord Barks a Lot

The Case of the Missing Moo-Cow Bell

The Case of the Missing Bumbly Wumbly Bee

The Case of the Missing Wellies

The Case of the Missing Honk Honk

The Case of the Missing Ornaments

Clean it Up! Wash it Up!

Coming soon:

Appalachian Allegory

Buy me a coffee… pretty please… actually it would be a proper cuppa in my case. Thank you for reading! 

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Positive Pensées

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The Gift of When No One is Looking

Be the best version of yourself, even when no one is looking.

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of When No One is Looking

“Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.”

C.S. Lewis

In the nooks and crannies where no one sees, are you still the same person you portray yourself to be? 

Do you say kind things when in the open and perform acts of kindness to be called great?

What about when no one is looking?  Do you still maintain your straight and narrow way?

In a time where folks do things for likes, shares, and attention. 

Will you perform the same action when no one is looking?

Let us examine our motives, our heart and our lives.

When performing an act of kindness try to keep this idea in mind.

Don’t let your right hand know what your left is doing.

Perform the act of service, just with one concept in mind. 

To love, to give with no real notoriety.

Be the best you can be when no one is watching.

Because one day in the rare event you think no one is watching, someone will be viewing your activities and you will give them purpose, a vision, a direction of who they could choose to be.  

How many folks have you encountered in life that are just not who they seem?  When no one is watching they might be just awful. Or, the person may not be nefarious at all.  They may just want the attention.  Recently I was challenged with an interesting concept.  If I could get away with just about anything would I still live a life with a moral compass. This concept is quite interesting.  What would you do?  What would I do?  One of the most talented artists of the 80’s was George Michael.  I am sure that there are some folks that have never heard his velvety voice and his dulcet tones.  One of his well-played songs would probably be “Wake me up before you go.”  The canon of music he shared with the world until his untimely death was quite immense.  He lived the life of a rich musician and star. He had a lot of struggles through his short life with drugs, alcohol, all the trappings of a celebrity life.   What many folks did not know is that he gave immensely to many charities.  He went undercover to homeless shelters and fed the hungry.  He paid debts of random strangers just because he could.  One time, George was sitting in a cafe.  He overheard a stranger crying over 25,000 pounds of debt.  He finished his meal, quietly gave a check to the server and asked them to give it to the random stranger.  When his mother died he gave a free concert for nurses.  The list is endless of what acts of kindness this multi-millionaire performed in service to his fellow humans.  A lot of these acts were discovered after his death.  While I realize that most of us will never be filthy rich (I wish!) we can learn a lesson from George Michael’s example.  People need help, we need integrity.  Most of the time these acts or decisions will not be in untroubled or “public” arenas.  These deeds will most likely come to our attention when you least expect them to happen.  I would encourage us all when there is nary an eye to see what we are about, that we live a life of integrity, purpose and gratitude.  One final quote by none other than George Michael himself “My ambitions have always been to make the quality of my life better but not in a material way.” In his short 53 years on planet earth I would wager to say that in the nooks and crannies.  In his alone time, George lived out his vision.  He gave when no one was looking.  He did not shout it from the rooftops. He did not take a video and share it for the world to see.  He just did it.  May we learn from his attitude of giving.  Give with no expectation of anything in return.  

Source:Smoothradio.com

My books are on Amazon!

The Quacktastic Adventures of Ellie and Lord Barks a Lot

Clean it Up! Wash it Up!

Coming soon:

Appalachian Allegory

The Case of the Missing Honk Honk

The Case of the Missing Ornaments

The Gift of Guitars

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Frets

“The difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary is practice.”

Vladimir Horowitz

What is a fret?

A fret is a strip of metal on a guitar.

They make the most beautiful sound when the strings are added.

Melodies, harmonies, strokes and picks of pure beauty. 

Those frets turn into chords that folks can sing along.

The frets can play a Bach prelude and fugue that holds so much musical charm.

Frets on a bass guitar can keep the beat.

In order to use those frets and strings, you have to have calluses on your fingers to ease the pain.

If you do not practice and those calluses go away, you have to re-acquaint your fingers with those steel or nylon strings.

So when you hear the gift of frets don’t immediately think that you need to worry about all that life brings.

Frets are a gift that brings melodious strains and chords of pure beauty. 

Remember the playing, the practice all takes time and work. 

But when you come to play the music the reward produces much meaningful worth. 

As I was reading the news this morning… well, I just sighed.  I looked for a few minutes, read some articles and I had to put it down.  It is not that I am indifferent to the sheer suffering of others.  It is more of a, “Why are we humans so cruel to one another?”  I know that we live in a fallen world.  I know that for my part I can pray earnestly for those in peril.  But what can we do?  We can be better people.  We show care when there is none around us.  I know that this is must easier said than done but my goodness.  I wanted to share this quote by Ram Dass: “When you go into the woods and look at tress, you see all the different trees.  And some of them are bent, some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree, and you allow it.  You see why it is the way that it is.  You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way, and you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it, you appreciate the tree.  The minute you get near humans, you lose all that.  And you’re constantly saying: You are too this, or I am too that.  That judging mind comes in.  And so I practice turning people into trees.  Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”

The guitar originated in Spain in probably the 16th century.  The guitar is obviously more portable than a full orchestra or a piano.  The type of the instrument is a chordophone which basically means the sounds are made through the strings and the vibration of the wood.  The neck originally had about 4 strings.  Today’s modern guitar has 6 strings. Before playing the guitar the strings need to be tuned with set notes.  Otherwise the chords will not be in tune and basically in the words of my music professor “It will sound like a musical gobbly gook mess.” Suffice it to say tuning is important.  When playing the guitar (in my experience particularly the acoustic guitar), you have to maintain calluses on your fingers otherwise the calluses will go away and you will have to repeat the painful process of calluses again.  So, practice is quite important.  Reforming calluses is not a fun task.  I have let my calluses go way too much. The piano is my main instrument, however I do like to play from time to time. When you place your fingers on the fret to form a chord, you use your pick and stroke the strings and voila!  You are making music.  Also, Bach never specifically wrote pieces for the guitar but some of the most beautiful pieces of music were adapted for the guitar.  Why frets?  How does this relate to life?  Our life is a song.  Whether that day is a melancholy minor (sad sounding) key, or a resounding major (happy sounding), key.  Each day is played with notes of life.  Those notes make up the scale that plays the great melodies and harmonies of our life.  For example, we will use the key of D major as our life song.  The first note is D which could be determination.  The next E, it could be an eagerness to make a better day and life for yourself.  Now, next is F# you can face the day whether it be sharp or flat, that is up to you to say.  G is next in line, it could be a generous gesture or some wisdom to be gained (gotta keep those calluses in good shape).  A, aim high, or find some amusement to lift your spirit.  Next we have B, take a moment and breathe, build someone up or find a small moment of bliss.  C# is next, what should it be? Catharsis? Charisma? You make the choice.  Finally we are back to D. The end of the scale where you can dance and play on your life frets a beautiful melody.  Frets are not always good in life, but they do keep us disciplined and mindful that when we don’t practice mindfulness and thankfulness we lose those calluses and have to start them all over again.  Play your frets with great gusto dear readers.  

Source: Yamaha.com

The Gift of If You Want To

 

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of If You Want To

 "If you want to, you can find a million reasons to hate life and be angry at the world." Or, if you want to, you could find a million reasons to love life and be happy.  Choose wisely."

Cari Welsh

 

If you want to, you can see all the gray on a rainy day.

Or if you want to, you can see the green and verdant colors washed by the rain.

If you want to, you can hate the soul-sucking heat.

Or if you want to, you can be happy for the seasons that bring cold, warm, hot and crisp fall days. 

If you want to, you can see that you don’t have everything you thought you would have. 

Or if you want to, you can count your blessings and be very glad. 

Be glad for a home, a place to lay your head. 

Be glad that you even have those blasted chores, which you dread. 

Is the glass half full or half empty?

Or if you are truly creative, you will see that the glass is refillable.  

If you want to, you can look around and see that blessings abound even in the smallest of things. 

Choose some if you want to bits each and every day.

If you want to, you can pave a more positive and fulfilling road ahead.

Make the path lovely; make the path kind.

Teach the "if you want to" mindset to others.

Help others see If you want to, there is beauty in just about everything we see.

 

If you want to.  What a choice of words, right? One must admit that there are days that you just don’t want to.  Am I right? So much of life is how we look at it.  When I see the news and what is going on with the countries ravaged with war, it is an immediate attitude check. Days like today where in my little blessed world it was a no good, very bad day.. I only needed to look at the suffering of those around the world..  Even the suffering that is near.  It gives perspective.  

What If you want to moments do we have  do we endure on a daily basis?  I have a friend who finds brushing her teeth a bit tedious. I have always thought this was funny. She decided that for the three minutes that she was brushing her teeth, she would pray for a varying list of folks. She puts that list on her mirror and proceeds to brush, brush, brush, and pray. I read a few days ago that when people hate something, it is accompanied by a bevy of emotions. They are trying to connect with a life situation or a person (even if that connection is not necessarily good) out of fear. It's almost as if you're looking for a sense of belonging, even if the emotion isn't particularly well-designed. There used to be a lady who lived at the senior center where I work who sat at the front entrance each and every day, and when you asked her how she was doing, her response was, "Terrible! Just terrible!  I hate it here! "Get me out of here!" After getting this response from her several times, I asked the management if she was indeed okay. They told me that she was upset because she had to leave the home that she had shared with her late husband for many, many years. She never got over having to leave. She kept complaining so much that the management had to move her sitting area away from the front entrance because she was scaring off potential tenants.  She eventually went to live with her children, which made her much happier. This was a truly instructive moment to find the "if you want to" when life gets tricky. My husband has a lifelong friend who has been in the Army for a very long time. War is ugly all around. If there could be a world without war, that would be amazing. This friend has done several tours of duty in the Middle East. He has seen friends killed, quite honestly. My heart goes out to him. Sure, he chose to serve, but God bless those who choose that role. One very grave time, he was in a convoy, when suddenly a suicide bomber blew himself up right in front of their group of trucks. His shoulder was injured, and some other soldiers had minor injuries, but no one lost their lives that day. He recently shared a video with us that was recorded right after the event took place. He looked at the camera and said (paraphrased) that this could have been much, much worse.  But I am alive, everyone in the group is alive, and we are going to be thankful for that. God help us that we never endure a situation of that magnitude.  I would say that this was a much heightened example of if you want to. Right now, as I write this, there is a war raging in Europe and the Middle East. It is a world away, yet the media lets us see just how terrible this can be. Let this be a motivating factor for us to choose, if you want to, and steer it in the direction of thankfulness.

My books are on Amazon!

The Quacktastic Adventures of Ellie and Lord Barks a Lot

Clean it Up!  Wash it Up!

Coming soon:

Appalachian Allegory

The Case of the Missing Honk Honk

The Case of the Missing Ornaments

The Gift of Life is Beautiful

Pray dear friends.  

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Life is Beautiful

“Life is abundant, and life is beautiful. And it's a good place that we're all in, you know, on this earth, if we take care of it.” “Keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”

Life is Beautiful

Life.  It is supposed to be beautiful. 

Humans should love each other. 

Look at the news, see the suffering. 

There is no evidence of that love.

Common respect, love for your neighbor.

Those tenets have clearly fallen out of favor. 

There has to be goodness out there. 

Surely, there has to be. 

Prayers, fervent prolonged and urgent

They are needed for those who are suffering such terror. 

The suffering is too much to bear. 

The mother crying for her child.

The family slaughtered, the hostages taken. 

The violence, it is just vile.

What can we do?

How can we help?

What can we say? 

Again dear readers, first. Pray.

After that, be kind to your neighbor. 

Give them the gift of care.

Give them a smile.

Lift them up.

Find what brings us together and make that your goal.

Tell those who seek to divide us we stand for one common goal.

Do good, be good. Love your neighbor as yourself. 

Stop the river of hatred. 

Release the dam of goodness, gentleness and care.

I have no words for the news that I have been listening to today.  I cried.  I mourned.  So much evil in the world.  Children are being killed.  Mothers are bearing so much pain.  Families are being slaughtered.  I just have no words.  I know that some folks say, “Take those prayers and actually do something.”  Well, I would say to you, that prayers do work. To know that someone has you on their mind when you are going through immense struggle is indeed a comfort.  To know that there are those who pray for peace.  It is a great comfort.  I have spoken to a couple of folks who are impacted by this situation in that part of the world.  They have asked explicitly and implicitly for prayer.  Friends.  Pray.  For those of us who are parents, pray for those who have no clue where their children are located.  Can you imagine?  I would be crawling out of my skin.  Recently I read the book that is associated with a movie from the 90s called, “Life is Beautiful.”  It was based on a family that was taken to death camps during World War II.  The family was separated.  The father was with the son, he did not want his young son to really know the severity of the situation.  He made their imprisonment like a game.  A game that was played during their entire time in that camp.  When the liberation was at hand, the father told his son to hide in a box until morning.  He knew the liberation was coming.  Shortly before morning came the father was captured and executed.  The son waited until the morning and was met with US Soldiers who were freeing those who were captive.  The son emerged from the box thinking he had won the game.  He was completely unaware that his father gave the ultimate sacrifice to save him.  He was eventually reunited with his mother.  The book ends with him reflecting as an adult just how much his father did to protect him through some pretty harrowing circumstances.  Friends, I have to wonder if that is going on right now.  Fathers, mothers, protecting the innocent from the ravages of war.  Yes, we must pray.  We must be good to those around us.  We must count our blessings.  We must see that diamond in the rough.  We must because life is indeed beautiful.  Life can also change in an instant.  Find the beautiful.