The Gift of Grits

Being from the South... we eat a lot of grits..

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Grits

“Over time, grit is what separates fruitful lives from aimlessness.”

John Ortberg

Determination, pluck, firmness, a stiff upper lip

All of these words are some form of grit.  

Persistence, boldness, bravery, and might. 

A willingness to never give up the fight. 

To have grit has certitude and firm-ness.

Even when the chips are down, grit can help you snap back and resound with a booming voice of certainty, “I have grit!  I can do this watch and see!”

So have some grit and tenacity and be the person you were meant to be!

Grits are a pretty great staple of southern cuisine.  There are many ways to prepare them.  You can mix them with cheese, garlic, and butter (yummy).  Some folks just prepare it with butter.  Others put sugar on it (why?!!).  My grandmother called it “dressing up your grits”.  Grits are typically stone ground. The process breaks down the kernel of corn and makes the corn into a very sumptuous southern treat.  The type of stone that is used is a millstone.  The millstine dates back to time immemorial.  Millstones have been found all over the world, they were used by many civilizations to grind wheat and other grains. Stone ground grits are made between not one, but two millstones.  It’s a brutal process.  But what comes out in the end is a delectable treat. Why are grits a gift?  The traditional process of making grits has multiple steps.  First, the corn is grown, then harvested.  Then corn is then dried in a hot greenhouse for about a week, the moisture content in the corn has to be next to nothing.  The corn then goes through the sheller or the millstone.  The sheller has quite sharp teeth, the millstone has tremendous weight. The corn is taken off the cob, and the cob is discarded.  After the corn is ground, it is placed in the freezer to make sure that there are no bugs living in the kernels. After freezing the kernels are put through the grinder.  After that, they are put through a sieve not once, but twice.  The first shaking is to make the corn meal.  The second shaking makes the grits.  Does this not sound like some of the struggles of life?  We have been ground, sieved, frozen, and shucked whether it is with words, illness, relationships, or family.  When we feel crushed to a pulp can we summon the true grit within us?  Life is a beautiful, messy, and audacious activity.  Let us summon the grit to make it through not just for us but also for others.  When we show grit, we can inspire someone else (even if it is in a small way) to live a motivated and purposeful life.  

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The Gift of Goulash

The Army boys devoured about 20 servings of Goulash!

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Goulash

“Cooking is all about people. Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together. No matter what culture, everywhere around the world, people get together to eat.”

Guy Fieri

Goulash is a dish that can feed a crowd.

A dish that has many varieties that can please any hungry crowd. 

The crowd can be large, small, or just a few.

Goulash is a quite filling stew.  

Goulash is hearty, warm, and comforting to eat.

Goulash can bring back the comfort of home for those longing for consolation.

When life is fraught with aggravation.

Goulash can provide fellowship, kinship, and a friendly meal.

Nourishment, sustenance, subsistence and fare.

Goulash is a gift that was crafted with great care.

If we can learn anything from goulash, the lesson would be: to be soothing, to be filling, and full of great life.  To have many ingredients, interactions, and recipes for life. To offer a humble meal, an ancient meal, as we navigate through our life. 

Goulash.  This is a dish that dates back to the 9th century in Hungary.  This dish was prepared by shepherds who would spend several months on the plains herding sheep.  They would prepare the goulash in a large cauldron that was hung from a large post over an open fire.  There are at least 7 varieties of Goulash in Hungary alone.  The dish spread to many countries all over the world.  There are American varieties, Canadian varieties, Austrian, Ethiopian, Italian varieties just to name a few.  Goulash has stood the test of time.  What can we learn from goulash?  Well, I would argue many things.  First, common ancestry.  Timeless dishes were created with the idea of kinship, feeding a crowd, fostering a friendly meal.  Second, simplicity.  In this age of digital everything, sometimes uncomplicated, is ideal.  Third, it is interchangeable.  Goulash now has many diverse ways to be prepared yet the name has stayed the same.  Goulash is still a stew of some sort.  Recently, my husband and I literally fed about nine Army boys.  At first we entertained ordering pizza because of the sheer size of our crowd.  After talking with my husband, we decided that a nice home cooked meal would be a gift for our boys.  This got me thinking about the longevity of this dish.  How many folks have gathered around a big pot of goulash and embraced the simplicity, the heartiness, the succor that Goulash provides? Let us hope that as time soldiers on we can both encounter folks who embrace the blessing of goulash and we can be a blessing of goulash to those around us.  

*Source Wikipedia, Rachel Laudan, Smithsonian Magazine

The Gift of It's Not My Job

A simple photo by my husband...

I have shared this poem before.  It is called "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer.  It was set to music by Oscar Rosbach.  I believe that this little musing embodies Grandaddy Burgess.  He was a simple, yet great man who loved nature, to work with his hands. I sang this last year.  Please enjoy.

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of It’s Not My Job

“Never say, “That’s not my job.  That oozes arrogance and laziness.  Chip in to help with what needs to be done, even if it's not your responsibility.  So what needs to be done or help someone find the solution. Period.  Even when no one is watching.”

Unknown

How many times have you heard someone say, “That’s not my job! I will just go away.”

“I don’t know how to do it, I don’t think I can help.”

Are all common phrases that are spoken and felt. 

It may not be your job, and you may not know how to do it. 

But just the act of support can help the person struggling through it. 

Through the confusion, the work and even the toil.

Being present is a great tool. 

Say things like, “How can I support you or give you a hand?”

This is much better than not giving a helping hand. 

The concept of sowing and reaping applies to our lives each day. 

Are you sowing seeds on dry and sandy ground?

By not helping others, that seed is cast on the infertile ground. 

When the harvest time comes, your field will be bare. 

And no one will be there when you need a helping hand. 

Sow the seeds of good deeds on fertile ground, water it with kindness and goodwill toward those around. 

When the harvest comes and you are in need. 

Your field will be a full and bountiful harvest, good and hearty for your soul. 

So give a helping hand and your crop will grow tenfold. 

My mother without fail always had us at church each and every time the doors were open.  We were at Sunday School without fail.  One story that has stuck with me over the years was the parable of sowing and reaping.  The sower goes to sow his seed.  Some fell on the wayside, some fell on thorns, others fell and the birds devoured them.  Some were trampled down,and others fell amongst rocks and sprung up but quickly died because of the lack of moisture.  As Jesus continues on, he refers to the seed as the Bible or his teachings.  To sum it up, sowing seeds in places where there is no real way for growth is never going to yield a fruitful crop.  Where are you sowing your seeds?  What are you giving into the universe?  A simple act of holding a door open for someone is sowing goodness into the universe and into your life.  Put up the grocery carts, give the clerks a break who have to fetch them from the parking lot here, there and everywhere.  Things folks ask for may or may not be our job but we can offer to help.  My husband’s late grandfather was a Methodist preacher for many, many years.  He was probably one of the most humble men I have encountered in my life.  He did not have a big personality.  He was just a man with a good heart.  He sowed a lot of goodness to the communities that he served by with no great fanfare helping the needy.  Clothing the poor, teaching the tenets of Christianity such as love your neighbor as yourself.  My husband recently told me he took on the KKK and successfully had them stand down from their acts of hate.  He just wanted to sow goodness.  When I married my husband, he was probably about eighty years old and retired with his wife Emily.  They lived in a very small modest house, and they planted the most amazing gardens.  It was always an exciting time when we would go to Grandmother and Grandaddy’s and eat their vegetables that they canned from the garden.  He took our children with him to show them his pride and joy of the garden.  As he aged, his wife of over seventy years passed.  After that, he was never quite the same.  He started having memory problems and had to be put in a home.  When my husband and I went to see him shortly before he died, he did not recognize us.  My husband knelt down and asked him to tell him about his favorite book.  Without hesitation he said, “The Bible. It teaches us to be kind to one another.” Say what you will about the Bible and religion in general.  But this great man lived the greatest snippets of the scripture.  He never said, “That’s not my job.”  He always led with, “How can I help?”  At his funeral, many people talked of this great man’s legacy.  He did not shout it from the mountain tops that he was the best.  He simply lived a life that gave back to the universe for his ninety-six years on this earth.  That is truly a standard to strive for.  

The Gift of Pickles

 Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Pickles

“Even if we disagree about everything we can still be kind to one another.”

Author Unknown

Pickles. They are enjoyable and tasty food.

They can be sour, sweet, hot, or cold.

They can be made with cucumbers, cauliflower, onions, or green beans.

They can be made with fruit, radishes, asparagus, basically a veritable cornucopia of things.

Pickles are made with vinegar, water, and spice.  

Pickles have withstood the test of time.

Pickles are made all over the world.

Each country has their tasty variety that their culture has cured.

Pickles have united people in both good and difficult times.

So embrace the variety of the pickle and choose to be……

A person who can choose to see that there are many varieties of opinions, of beliefs, and states of mind that can exist in harmony, and still be kind. 

Pickles have been around for thousands of years.  Cleopatra ate them, they were mentioned in the Bible.  They originated in the Tigris Valley.  Pickles were an essential part of food in early times.  The preservation from the brine allowed sailors and travelers to preserve food.  Pickle juice has been used to aid in digestion, athletes use pickles to treat hydration.  Pickles can be made with fruit, peppers, eggs, carrots, amongst other things.  Just about every culture has some form of pickles.  Why do I mention pickles?  This morning when my husband and I were walking at early:30.  I began to ponder the current trend that we as a society are seeing of, “If you don’t agree with me you are not worth my time.” If this trend continues, we as a society are doomed for more division.  Pickles show that even through many recipes, many different takes, the pickles can survive and even thrive.  How do we become more like pickles?  Focus on what unites us.  Our common humanity.  Listen with purpose.  Practice empathy. Ask questions respectfully.  If we were to evaluate our acts of decency/respect for others with whom we don’t agree, would the jar be half empty or half full?  Let us give a compliment, leave a big tip, and thank our public servants.  Leave a positive comment online.  Give a smile, a small wave.  Say good morning, tell a family member you love them, write a note of encouragement to your neighbor, child or friend.  Goodwill will not only make another person’s day but hopefully start a domino effect of change. The longer a pickle sits in brine, the better the pickle tastes.  Embrace the pickle.  Be a little salty, a little sweet, and a refreshing treat.  

*Source Tori Avey “History in a Jar:The Story of Pickles”

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The Gift of Waffles

 

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Waffles

“Where there is a waffle, there’s a way.”  

Maria Casciano

Waffles. A sweet and tasty doughy treat. 

They can be savory or sweet.

Add a little syrup, fill up those little cups.

A true comfort food that can heal the blues. 

What are waffles in regard to life?

How can we compare the two?

Life is much like waffles in many ways.

Situations pummel us with little tiny wells.

They create wells of need to be filled with a syrup to help us to be many things. 

To be whole, to be healed, to recover from the ebb and flow of life. 

What are you putting in your wells?

Waffles.  In the South we have a restaurant named Waffle House. Waffle House equates with a greasy spoon with most southerners.  The floor slips and slides from the grease of the open grill.  The waitresses look like they could tell you many stories filled with interesting late night escapades of patrons who frequent these eateries.  Their specialty is waffles.  Obviously, that is in the name.  Recently my husband and I went to a Waffle Eatery with our little granddaughter.  Her absolute favorite food is waffles!  Blueberry waffles to be exact.  She squeezes her hands and says, “Nummy, nummy, nummy.”  She wants those waffles.  As we were sitting and watching her devour her tasty treat, this got me thinking about life.  Isn't life like a waffle?  Circumstances come at us, some are more traumatic than others.  The death of a loved one or friend.  A tenuous financial circumstance, a failed relationship, a difficult relationship with a child, an illness.  You name it.  All of these happenings really do cause wells of emotion, of need.  What are we filling those holes with?  If the syrup is bitter and resentful.  This will dig a deeper well in an already deep hole.  Also, what is in your batter?  When you make a waffle it is much like making bread.  The consistency of the dough is important, how many eggs are in the dough?  Did you add too much or too little milk? Have you greased the pan?  Have you cleaned the pan?  So many steps into making the perfect waffle.  When you bite in there, wow!  If you could make a recipe for syrup and waffles what would it be? A cup of kindness with plenty of humility?  A pinch of cinnamon for the spice of life and perhaps some nutmeg to help you know that it’s okay to be silly.  A strong cup of forgiveness to make it through each day.  And perhaps a heaping helping of love for both yourself and others.  What about your syrup?  What do you want to pour into your wells?  Definitely some other portion of tolerance and mercy.  A pinch of pungent sage to give you the determination, to keep going even when you cannot give anymore.  Take a moment, don’t look at those wells as a detriment.  Rather, those wells give you the opportunity to grow, to take something that caused you harm and make you a better person.  Others will see what is in your wells, and hopefully learn from your example.  Embrace the Waffle!

Source: kitchenacorns.com

The Gift of Pedals

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Pedals

“Life is like a piano.  What you get out of it depends on how you play it.”

Tom Lehrer

On a piano there are 3 pedals, they all serve a purpose.

One sustains, one dampens, and one is sustenuto.

Each pedal serves a purpose in the crafting of a melody.

When you choose the sustain pedal, it blends the melody.

It makes the sound continue, even when you have left those keys.

The damper, or soft pedal, or the Una corda dampens the sound.

It makes the sound more subtle, a little softer sound. 

The sostenuto sustains only a few notes at a time.  You play the notes, touch the pedal and the piano maintains their sound.  

You can play other notes with sostenuto, but they are not maintained.  The notes almost sound like staccato, almost like the trillings of a bird. 

Life is much like pedals, if you take a moment to see. 

Some things sustain, some things soften, and others hold in place.

So let us learn from pedals they are after all how we have such beautiful melodies.

Pedals.  Kind of an interesting choice, right?  The piano is an absolutely amazing instrument.  I am often in awe of just how the keys, the strings, the hammers, and the pedals work.  First, we will talk about the sustain pedal.  It is rare to encounter a piece of music that does not use the sustain pedal.  The pedal basically enables you to play a note, when you lift your finger from the note, a damper pad stops the note from ringing out.  The sustain pedal removes the damper pad from the note allowing the notes to ring longer.  If we liken this concept to life,  what sustains us?  Is it a diet of news, social media, or negative influences?  Or, do we have a diet that is awash in constructive and pragmatic exercises?  There is a caution with the sustain pedal.  In the words of the composer Claude Debussy: “Abusing the pedal is only a means of covering up the lack of technique, making a lot of noise to drown out the music you are slaughtering!” That was a harsh sentiment but Debussy did have a point.  Too much of anything will muddy up our focus and our attitude.  Hence, we must maintain a more productive way to use our sustain pedal.  The sustenuto pedal is a lot like the sustain pedal; the difference is that the pedal only holds the notes that are already being played at the moment when the pedal is down.  This pedal is what we are made of.  Our roots, our soul, our moral compass, our scruples.  Hopefully those scruples are to do good to those around us.  When other notes are introduced to the sustenuto pedal they still add to the melody; they are just not sustained in the base chord.  In life this is other people, other opinions, other notions that may or may not resonate with us but we can have them in our life.  They contribute to the melody.  Finally, the last pedal.  Some refer to it as the damper pedal, others refer to it as the soft pedal.  It is also referred to as the Una Corda pedal.  Most strings in a piano are grouped in threes.  When you use this pedal, it shifts the entire keyboard to the right, making a softer sound.  What are the dampers or soft things in life?  They may be our moments of meditation, moments of pause.  It could be people who help us find our center.  Or, we could be the person that shows others how to be the voice of reason, the voice of encouragement, or a gentle reminder that we can do this.  For me the damper pedal is to take a moment and listen.  After all, we have 2 ears and one mouth.  Sometimes it is good to just listen.  There are also many methods of pedaling.  Delayed, half, preliminary and simultaneous.  These methods mean that we are all different, we all bring a different mindset to the table. A different sound, a different melody that can make our world a much better place.  I leave you all dear readers with the words of Arthur Rubenstein: “The pedal is the soul of the piano.”.  Let’s be pedals! 

*Source flowkey.com

The Gift of Serving Others

Serving others is refreshing... much like a cool rain.  Photo credit: My husband.

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Serving Others

“We can’t help everyone, but we can help someone.”

Ronald Reagan

To serve, to give, means to look outside of yourself. 

To pause, take a moment, and see someone else.

To take the focus from inward to outward, to find a new way to see.

So much of life is finding the right path. 

Have you paused for a moment and wondered if that is the same for someone else?

To look outside of yourself, to see the human being in need, it’s a gift that needs to be passed on for all to see.

To know that we are part of a bigger purpose and plan.

That plan involves blessings that are truly quite grand.

That little act of service can make a huge difference to someone, even if it is in a very small way. 

Put down the phone, look outside your bubble. 

Find someone who needs a blessing.

Find someone who needs a kind deed. 

It will keep you quite humble. 

Life is less about self and more about selflessness.

Find someone who needs a blessing, a word of edification.

I promise you that act of service will come back and help you find your blessing. 

One of the reasons that my husband and I encouraged our kids to do some sort of civil service was to let them know that life is about something bigger than self.  We live in a society where selfies are everywhere.  When I scroll through social media, a lot of what I see is selfie after selfie.  While I am not opposed to the occasional selfie, I often cringe.  I have an acquaintance who calls them, “Narcissisties.”  Again, I took a few selfies when I was blessed to be in the Alps.  It was awesome.  However, how do we really balance this need to take pictures of self or magnify the self?  We do that by serving others.  Now, the military is not for everyone obviously.. but what can we do to help others?  To be of service to others? To edify others?  That starts with the decision to realize that there are a lot of folks out there who need just one simple act of kindness.  One prayer. One, “God Bless Your Day.” One act of just listening.  I am a talker.  Those that know me would gasp in horror…. Not really!  My husband reminds me often that I have two ears and one mouth.  I should listen more.  It is true.  Just the act of listening to someone can take a weight off of the shoulders of another.  I have worked with seniors for about fifteen years.  It is one of my joys and callings in life.  Did you know that it highlights some of these sweet little old folk’s life to just listen to them talk about their grandchildren?  While self care is important, serving others is also right up there in importance.  Did you know in some countries civil service is encouraged to take the primary focus off of self? In this world of selfies and, “Me! Me! Me!” What can we do to bring it to, “Build each other up?” Growing up in the belly of the south, one of the first scriptures I can remember is when the disciples asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment.  He commented quite succinctly that it was to “Love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself.  If that is true then well, it should be pretty easy to build others up, right?  I will leave you all with this.  I am moved to tears quite often that our children are pretty great.  Even greater still is that five of them realized that it was important to serve a greater purpose than self.  I often think of those brave ones in WWII who risked their lives to be part of the bigger picture.  We live in a time and place where that is not necessarily our greatest risk.  We have our heroes in uniform of whom I am so very, very glad to be called a military mom.  What can we do? How can we serve? How can we make a difference?  I would wager it starts looking prayerfully outward.  That focus will inevitably bring your perspective back to the inward blessing of knowing that you have blessed someone else.  I leave you dear readers with a quote from Albert Einstein: “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”  

The Gift of Growth

My husband has a knack for finding beautiful things.... he caught this one early one morning....  

Positive Pensées

Kathy King

The Gift of Growing

“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.”

L.M. Montgomery

*For those who just started reading my little musings...  I wrote this last year.  I have really struggled becoming an empty nester.  These little writings were a way to help deal with the changing role of being "Mommy" and now, "Mom."  I truly marvel when I open each writing because they speak to my heart in such a wonderful way.  It is as if God knew that when I wrote, and wrote... and wrote... and wrote... I would need them at another time.  It is my hope that you,, dear reader will find some hope as well. 

Growth can be painful. 

Growth can be brutal.

Growing requires self assessment.

You cannot grow when you are comfortable. 

Growth requires change and change is difficult. 

But growth is necessary for both you and me.

So that we can become better versions of ourselves for all to see. 

Embrace the truth, the change, the betterment.

Growth edifies both the spirit and the soul.

So push for growth, make a goal.

Plant the seeds of growth, water them with prayer.

Watch them grow into a beautiful flower and then start to share with others the work, the joy that growth brings when you become a better version of yourself and spread the seeds of encouragement, edification and growth that is needed for all humanity. 

What happens when you stay in the same mindset for a period of time?  Stagnation.  Humans were not meant to just be.  Humans were meant to grow, to change, to learn from life circumstances over time.  If you don’t embrace growth what will happen? In the words of John Maxwell: “Change is inevitable.  Growth is optional.”  Plants go through many stages to grow: seed to sprout, then vegetative, budding, flowering, then ripening.  Also, fertilization, water, and sunlight are also pivotal in the growth and survival of plants.  To take it a step further, I would add the stages of leaves on trees.  The leaves go in cycles.  The cycles are dictated by seasons.  The leaf is born, develops, reaches its maturity as a leaf, then it dies.  Does this description not embody change and growth?  Think about the colors of the leaves as they grow.  In the spring the buds are a fresh and beautiful green.  As the tree leaves continue to grow, the leaves become a much more dark and mature green.  In the fall, before the big change, the leaves become a fiery red, a gorgeous orange, and a sunny yellow.  After that, the leaves fall and start the process all over again.  Life is much like the cycle of plants and leaves.  If we are not watered, fertilized, given proper sun and care, we wither and eventually die whether that be emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or physically.  How are you watering your mind? How are you feeding your soul?  Let us feed each other a diet of edification.  Not a diet of excess nutrients that in time will cause us to stagnate.  I am reminded of an old Chinese proverb that I read.  “Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid of only standing still.”  So dear readers, grow!  Read a new book, take a walk and greet a stranger, adopt an attitude of gratitude, and send a care package to a soldier.  Meditate.  There are so many ways to grow.  Let us go forth with a purpose and determination to make this world a better place each day.  

Source: Saferbrand.com, growing flowers.  sfguide.com